The Leadership Coach's Blog
This leadership coach's blog, comes as talented Newcastle United player Hatem Ben Arfa, reveals that a lot of the trouble that he has given his coaches, comes from the lack of love he received from his father.
Football Leadership : Hatem Ben Arfa - Love Me!
In a revealing interview, Frenchman Hatem Ben Arfa, opens up about his past, in a way not normally associated with footballers. They are individuals who tend to keep their emotional past private, for fear of ridicule from the dressing-room. Not Ben Arfa.
He talks of the lack of love his father gave him, and how this led to Ben Arfa transfering that emotional uncertainty into his relationship with football managers and coaches.
Given that he has now developed the awareness to speak frankly on the subject, it's safe to assume that the Frenchman has now resolved his past. But it's a fascinating insight into a players emotional wants, and what a manager may have to do to meet those deeper needs.
Managers and leaders require a vast skill-set to motivate their people. Each individual has a unique story. Their past can often define who they are. But when a manager discovers an individuals unmet needs, then they are well on the way to discovering the key to their motivation.
Most unmet emotional needs are either the need for love; or belonging; or the need to be understood. Thus the need for love can found in the warmth the leader shows to the individual. The belonging, in the closeness and togetherness of the group that is created. And the understanding in how the individual is listened to and empathised with, and given free reign to express their ideas and creativity.
Once a leader meets the emotional needs of their individuals, then those people will pay them back ten-fold. But there is no rule-book that tells the leader how to do this. It comes out of a warmth, care and curiosity into what makes their people tick.
Motivation can be experienced in powerful rhetoric and strong emotive language. But the longest lasting motivation, comes when you get inside the heart and mind of an individual. That's true leadership of people!
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